Memories {♥}

Tonight I was randomly rummaging through some old photos and it really got me thinking, "Man what I would do to go back to that memory and re-live it once more." Since obviously this isn't possible, unless there exists a time machine in the world that I am unaware of. LOL. So I decided to share a few of my favorite memories with you guys. Enjoy.

Memory #1: Okay... the very first memory that pops into my head is of course with my little sister Stephanie. When she was little she had to undergo multiple surgeries, which one of them entailed a full body cast from belly button to toes in the dead heat of the summer. Horrible I know! The doctor had reminded us time after time to not get the cast wet. I could tell my sister was suffering. So like the coolest big sister she'll ever have [haha] I came up with the brilliant idea to play with some water balloons. Haha... Like little girls, we wrote names on each balloon pretending them to be like a friend or something. And then popped them all over her! LOL. I still remember my mother coming out and her facial expression was like, "What are you doing?!?!" But she just started cracking up because she realized my intentions. :) Ohhhh the good old days.

Memory #2: Growing up I lived in a suburb with 16 houses where my best friend Jordan lived down the street. Her and I became inseperable. We spent every living moment together. It's hard to choose one memory with her that defines our relationship. But one of the MANY memories that stands out would definitely be our game time. We would play battleship, and when the opponent was hiding their battleships the other one would have to hide behind the couch. I would always sneak a peak and win, and I remember her getting SO mad. LOL. It made me crack up because she could never catch me cheating. :) Haha... you know that saying cheaters never prosper. Well that moment was totally worth it! LOL.

Memory #3: Another memory that means so much to me is our families Easter celebration. When we were little, all my mom's side of the family would get together on Easter to celebrate. We have a tradition where we fill eggs with confetti and crack them over eachothers head. This meant a lot to me because I was born on easter, and even though my birthday has never been on Easter since... we always celebrated it near my birthday. So I was able to see all my relatives. It was so much fun seeing all the adults chasing eachother, and doing our annual easter egg hunt. I miss those days so much.

Memory #4: Halloween 2007. I still remember this like it was yesterday. I have already explained this memory before. But man... this night is a night I will always remember. It was Nych's 20th birthday and also a Halloween party. We had a BLAST. The night ended up with Nych passed out in the bathtub while holding my hair while I was passed out over the toilet. Haha... From beginning to end this night was by far an eventful night.

Memory #5: Getting announced homecoming Queen :) My whole family was so proud of me and I really did feel like a Queen for the entire day. There wasn't a second where I wasn't grinning cheek to cheek. To this day Jay and I still joke that he is my king and I am his queen.

Memory #6: My athlete family. Maaaan, do I miss my sports. :( If there's one thing I would wanna go back and do again, it would be play sports. All the girls on every team were like my sisters. They made everything so fun. One memory in particular would probably be Gulf
Shores Alabama. Every year our softball team
would travel to Gulf Shores over spring break and practice and vacation together for team bonding. Laying out in the sun with all the girls and talking about our love lives and secret crushes was such a fun time. Something I will always look back on and smile.

Memory #7: Definitely my black and white party! LOL. Let's just say I decided the bright idea of having a themed party at our place in Copper Beech. All three of my roommates as well as me invited almost everyone we knew and over 100 people packed into our apartment that night. Before the party barely even started 7 cops surrounded our place breaking it up! LOL. The person that was the most drunk was trying to talk to the cops... and everyone else was running! I denied living there... when I was in my own room with pictures of me up all over the place! LOL. And the night ended with my beating up my roommate as she laughed and tried to take off her clothes. Hahahaha... oh geez how I miss our college parties. :)

Memory #8: Camping in Silver Lake. :( The dunes are one of my favorite places to go... it's beautiful. And I guess why this place means so much to me is because every single year on fourth of july my mom's entire side of the family would go camping for like an entire week. No worries. Just family. Love and games and fun in the sun. We even rented a pontoon boat for a day and spent it out on the lake. These are memories I would never replace for the world.

Memory #9: Watching my sister graduate. Now I know for alot of people this doesn't mean alot. But to me... this meant the world. Since being she's in a wheelchair with cerebral palsy, she has come upon numerous barriers. She wheeled herself across the stage and graduated :) I was so proud. Not only that... she is now attending the same college as I am, and even getting better grades than I did! What is up with that?! LOL.

Memory #10: Welcoming my son Gabriel Chance Valentin into the world :) That moment was one of the best moments in my life. There aren't even words to describe the emotions that filled me. I was in love the moment I saw him... and I still am to this day. November 18th 2008 was a miracle. My little miracle.

Today Was A Horrible Day

Today was a horrible day.
I hate today.
Everything about it. :(
My baby boy has bronchialitis.
He has a horrible cough, stuffy nose, sore throat.
I am sick.
Got zero sleep.
Missed my classes cause I had to take Gabriel to the ER.
Got into a fight with Nych.
Today was a horrible day.

[♥] Twenty-Five things on Breaking Up for Females [♥]

Not all women know how to handle themselves through a breakup. So I wrote this specifically for you in result of my lovely relationship experiences. If any one of these things hits home for you, or helps you in anyway, I'm successful. :) Enjoy.

Here's to all my females:

1. Love is a lifetime commitment, if you find a male constantly leaving and coming back obviously he's not commited, therefore it is not love.
2. Trust is a must. Period. No trust, no go!
3. Never settle for less. There are thousands of males out there that are dying to show you their endless love. Why settle for anything less when you could possibly be getting it all?
4. Once a cheater always a cheater. Enough said.
5. The blame game is a no go. The only person to blame is yourself for not kicking their big old booty to the curb sooner.
6. Never regret, it is because of them that you will never fall for a broken male again.
7. Wear short skirts, high heels, puckered lips & poofy hair whenever you see them. They will see what a dumb ass they were for letting you go. And you will love watching them cringe.
8. Always trust your intuitions.
9. If you love your family & they do not like them, then neither should you.
10. One lie, leads to another, leads to another, which leads to another. So break it off the first time. You don't want a liar for a husband do you?
11. In the words of beyonce, "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it."
12. There's something wrong when they come home @ 4 in the morning creating nonsense excuses. Best believe that.
13. If they can look you in the eyes and lie to you, they don't deserve your respect or love. Ever.
14. When you receive their text asking for you back, laugh hysterically. Then don't even waste your breath. Lean over and hold your new man tightly.
15. Keep on stepping. No time to fall down. And those shoes your wearing were expensive!
16. Make time for the girls, they are the ones that will always be there for you when the males come and go.
17. Head up. They'll be checking up on you, and it'll kill them to see you fall. But it's gonna murder them to see you happy. :)
18. Stop worrying about them. Stop checking their statuses and memos, you already know their with another dumb ho whose falling for their tricks. Therefore that two seconds you just wasted looking, could have been better spent painting your toenails or plucking your eyebrows. LOL.
19. Life isn't always perfect. It's cool if your past relationships leave some nasty scars. But bandage them up yourself and get back on your feet.
20. If your singing the song, "I'll bust your windows out your car" and they don't even have a car, there's a problem. You need a man @ your side who has got their business together. Stop trying to help put theirs together.
21. If you ever falter and miraculously start thinking about the few good moments of the relationship, pop in a Beyonce CD. Problem solved.
22. Attitude is the worst solution. Giving them attitude gives them confidence because they believe they have a hold on you. So be nice. They'll be acting all crazy in the matter of seconds wondering what or even better WHO is making you so care-free and happy.
23. The past is in the past. Keep it there.
24. Walk with confidence even if you don't have it. Eventually it'll catch on & you'll be feeling all superhuman.
25. Most importantly, love again. [♥] There is that someone out there for you. He's waiting to make you his Queen. Never let a relationship inhibit your ability to love again. Have hope [♥]

A Woman's Intuition

They say a woman's intuition is always correct, right? Well for a minute here I thought my intuition was wrong, well I was guided that it was wrong, but I got back on track and discovered I was right all along. It's ridiculous how the psychology of an individual works. Trying to make someone feel bad for being insecure and accusing for their past. When all along my intuition was correct. There was something going on. You did have a secret. You were lying.

First off I wanna say you are wrong. Wrong for everything you have done to me. Wrong for saying that I pushed you away, when infact you caused the scars that pushed you away. You pushed yourself away. Second, I wanna say how could you? Shame on me. But SHAME on you. Really. A real man strives towards a future with one woman, honest, for better or for worse, for rich or for poor, in sick and in health. That isn't possible with more than one female on your hands. Or even planning the termination of a relationship, because your planning on being with someone else. I stuck up for you. I stuck by you. And in return I receive lies YET again. I KNOW you were lying. The pictures? The supposed boyfriend? My car being towed? Yeah. All LIES. And on top of that... it already begins. "It's too horrible outside, I'm not leaving the house." When really your already cuddled up with your new girlfriend... that might have to do with why you don't wanna leave the house to get your son huh?

Third, I would like to say females learn a lesson. [No names inserted.] I repeat, do NOT do NOT mess with a male who you know is taken. You are merely a piece of booty, lust, nothing special and you make yourself look ridiculous. Yes people make mistakes, but a repeat offender AKA homewrecker is quite unforgiveable and sleezy. SERIOUSLY. And fourth, DO not be okay with being a secret! LOL... for real? I've learned this, you should learn this. You make yourself look pathetic. Crazy. Desperate... need I say more?

Finally. Good Riddance. Good riddance to all the drama. Good riddance to that life. I'm welcoming a new one. I finally got the closure I needed because my intuition was right. I was right no matter WHAT you say! From here on out, I'm a new woman. Me, my son & ___________. You fill in the blank :) I'm done playing these stupid games. You will realize what a big mistake you made. I'll be sure of it.

Adios ♥

Daddy & Mr. Dimples

So the boys were having some quality time together... & I took a couple of snapshots. Gabriel was so tired and his daddy didn't want him to go to sleep quite yet. :) Take a look!

Second Chances

Where to even begin... :(

Well. Today was a HORRIBLE day. Let's just say that my horrible intuitions got me into trouble. Here's where I'll start. You see, me and my boyfriend Nychlas have been on and off for two years. During those two years, he has abused my trust a couple of times which have driven me to be rather insecure when it comes to relationships. Lately I have found myself sinking to this insecurity. I realize that it's just that I am scared to lose everything I've gained. But with this fear I increase my chances of driving him away. The constant assumptions, and questioning... I mean I wouldn't like it either.

But, it's not like I made myself this way. It's not like I wanna be this person. It's not like I'm doing this on purpose.

This morning I accused him of things that never happened. I don't know what it is, but I formulate these scenarios in my head and they all just grow into this story that I convince myself is true. Why do I do this to myself? My stupid little construed story grew into something huge. And before I knew it he was saying all sorts of things that cut me deep, had me literally in tears.

I just don't get how he doesn't understand that it can't just be dropped in a second. It takes time. He's been trying so hard to prove to me that he wants to be with me, and now I see that but that pain, that broken heart... still isn't healed completely. :(

Now it's got me thinking... is it even worth trying? Will I ever get over it? I wanna try... I love him so much. I was really honestly happy with our little family. I loved it. Waking up every day with the two people I care about the most. Having him there for every moment, Gabriel's first doctors appointment, his first time turning over, smiling... But was it just too late for him to fix the past? How can I forgive and move on when every time he leaves the house I question him and interrogate him. Where did we go wrong? Where did I go wrong?

I just hope that whatever God has in store for me... that it's not as painful as today. That he can help me trust again. And help us mend our broken past... And raise our baby boy together. If not... God must have a better plan for me.

Poem: Gaining a Loss

Gaining a Loss

I got a fear that everything I have I'll lose,
I guess I don't understand, must be confused.
There's a reason I'm scared,
The trust I gave was abused and misused.
This is why I've become so hesitant.
Another reason for the story to get all bent.
Another stab to the back then you repent.
It's like a sister can't get a breath to vent.
Yeah.
And now you acting as if it's in the past.
Like it's a memory I have, that definitely shouldn't last.
But I'm not passed the past,
Obviously you can see...
That's why you be asking, "Why you always questioning me?"
I'm scared to lose everything I've gained,
My heart, My love, the healing of the pain.
The sun I've pulled out through the rain.
Yeah.
Am I insane?
Thinking that it'll all happen again.
Our relationship be happy but looking like a pigpen.
I guess, till then...
I'll trust like you request.
Put the past to the back, and stop being obsessed.
Thinking that every move you make needs to be assessed.
I'm hoping you realize that our family is blessed.
And that I'm trying to trust again, and become impressed.
Cuz as I addressed, it's not easy to trust.
I'm hoping you won't chance our love again for lust.
Cause the trust,
I gave was abused and misused.
I'll no longer act as if I'm confused.
This time I'll act as if I have nothing to lose.
I've got nothing to prove, and everything to defend.
I gained from the rain,
And now I can LOVE again.

♥

Old Memories ♥

Okay. So my girl Kellie did this post where she posted a couple of fun pictures from her past. So that got me looking @ old pictures and I just had to share a few. :)

This is a picture of my best friend Jessica & I @ like the only bar in Big Rapids. LOL. Shooters! Haha... what good times. Obviously we're in the bathroom doing the whole photo shoot!

Awww... these are my FEMALES! Every monday night bowling @ some drinky drink. Ohhh this was so much fun! I miss these days so much!

Me & my old roommate Crystal @ my other roommates 21st birthday party at Higgins Lake! Ohhh man was that a beautiful day!

This was one of the BEST nights ever! LOL. It was Nych's 20th birthday party & Halloween party. These were all the girls I went with and it was a BLAST!

Vent: Drama Like Always

Can someone please shut stupid people up? I hate when people try and mess things up! He's obviously not with you. Nor staying with you. So why are you trying to put on a front like he is?! Get a life... please. Because obviously you have too much time on your hands to make up stupid things and try and mess with people's lives.

He is my boyfriend. He is my man. He is with me. And you know ALL that. So even IF he is saying stuff to you, your trying to mess with him, "or be patient," with him knowing that. And that just looks really bad on your part. There are names for the girl that does that these days... Your waiting around for someone while they stay at my house with me, kissing me, holding me & telling me they wanna marry me? Hmmm... makes NO sense.

Ugh... enough of the venting. Just had to get that off my chest, that is all.

If You Got Something to Say... Say It!

Okay... so things have been going really really good lately between Nych and I. He has been around me for forever. But let's just say recently a certain someone and him have "made up" their bitterness towards each other and randomly her stupid myspace messages start hinting things. One, this really BOTHERS me. Like for instance yesterday he was with her for a SHORT period of time and today her message states, "has a lot to think about..." and her emotion is quiet with a wink face. Sooo... for one if you got something to say, say it! Don't beat around the bush. I'm tired of these games and all the drama that comes along. So if your not going to say anything why put that up there in the first place? It's ridiculous and a waste of your time. Plus... if you had something to think about, it would be why he came back to me and slept in my bed and cuddled up with me and told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. So get over it. Leave us alone. We're doing fine and obviously he's not with you.

So this is the end to my looking @ your stupid page. All you try and do is make me think things and unless you wanna actually say something then I'm not going to look.

Now I'm going to cuddle up with my boo for a quick nap :) Peace.

Breaking News!

Okay so I just had to get on here and update... What can I say I'm becoming a blogger addict. Haha... :) But... my baby boy finally rolled today! It was THE cutest thing ever. I put him on his stomach for some good old tummy time and he leaned and just rolled over! I was cracking up and he couldn't stop laughing either. And then I kept trying to put him back on his tummy and he kept rolling over! He figured it out. Now he hasn't turned from his back to his belly but he sure is trying! LOL. He's a couple days shy of three months and he is such a smart little guy I'd have to say! Or is that just the mama speaking in me? LOL.


LOL. He's learning if he pouts his lip mommy can't say no either :) LOL. Well I'm off to bed! What a great day :) As the infamous Tigger would say TTFN!

Valentines: My Baby Boo ♥

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Okay so I should totally and completely be in bed right now, due to the fact that I have to work in the a.m. buuuuut... for some complete idiotic reason I just can't get myself upstairs in my bed. LOL. Me and Gabriel are just chilling on the couch watching TV. He finally fell asleep. He was fighting falling asleep for forever. He doesn't wanna miss Valentine's with his mama I'm sure ;) Haha.

Anyways I'm about to walk up to my room and stare at my glorious two dozen red roses, delicious sweet chocolates and enormous fluffy teddy bear. Hahahaha... JUST KIDDING. I wish. You know, now that I think about it, it's been over 4 years since I have gotten a Valentine's gift! Somehow I always find myself single every year on February 14th. This is the first year in like 4 years that I'm not single! :) Yah. Haha...

Well since I'm kinda broke right now, I decided to dedicate this blog, my Valentine's blog to my baby. No, not my baby boy Gabriel... but my boo, my best friend and my one and only.

Here's our story:
It was a sunny day about two years ago, and I was working @ the mall [minding my lovely business I might add]. Haha. When all of the sudden I look across the room to see this goofy silly guy staring @ me with this cheesy smile. I think he saw me look @ him so he looked away with that look like "Ahhhh she caught me!" LOL. The next day it was repeated only this time... he took some action. LOL. Well actually he technically didn't. He sent a little boy to do his dirty work! He bet this little boy $10.00 that he couldn't get my phone number. [I guess I'm only worth $10.00 bucks these days! LOL]. Soooo... this boy walks over and the first thing he says is, "Hey this guy over there bet me $10.00 I couldn't get your number. If you give me it I'll give you half." LMAO... So I gave him my number. [You know, I needed some lunch money. Wink. Wink. LOL.]

Then the little kid ran back to him with my number. Haha. His face was priceless. From there on out, all of those who know Mr. Nychlas know of course he was flirting non-stop! LOL. He even drew me a picture on this little sticky note of me and him [stick figures of course] with T-mobile and Nextel names above us holding hands and a big sunshine and happy faces. Haha... I still have that sticky note to this day! We eventually started hanging out. We discovered we had so much in common. His favorite # was 12, mine is too. He was homecoming king, I was homecoming queen. He played all kinds of sports, I did too. The list went on and on. I found myself falling for him hard and fast.

Eventually you couldn't separate the two of us. We were the BEST friends. Every weekend he was @ Grand Valley with me having the best time in the world. There are SO many memories together I can't even begin to share them all. But I'll just share one in particular that I find absolutely hilarious. Well it was the night of Nych's 20th birthday. There was a halloween party at an apartment complex near the mall. We all met up dressed in our costumes. I was a border patrol girl and Nych was Steve Erkel. Classic I know :) LOL. He was very drunk I might add... At first I was taking care of him... then I soon found myself pretty darn tipsy myself. [When I say tipsy I mean... stumbling over my heels and mumbling my words LOL.] A bunch of us left the party and went to his friends Kevin's house. Well loooong story short, his friends found Nych and I in the bathroom. He was passed out in the bathtub with his hand extended holding my long brown hair from getting in the toilet. And I was passed out with my head over the toilet. LOL. Needless to say it was a ridiculously hilarious night and one night I will always remember. Nych even cried! Haha... shhh... don't tell ;)

Now look where we are! With our baby boy Gabriel. We are completely blessed to have him in our lives. I admit that Nych and I have always had our ups and downs, and things were extremely rough at times... BUT I can say one thing, and that's that I am completely and utterly 100% in love with this boy. When I am down or upset, he is the person who knows how to put a smile on my face. [Besides my baby boy Gabriel]. Whether we're on good terms or bad terms he always has love for me. He is my prince and I am is his princess. He is my boyfriend, my baby boy's father, my confidant and most of all my best friend. Love you Baby ♥

And once again Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends and family! Love you ♥

Lack of Ambition

Is it just me, or have I felt completely unmotivated to do anything productive lately? LOL. I guess having Gabriel in my life has just made me wanna stay home and cuddle up. I mean who wouldn't wanna just sit home and cuddle up with such a cute baby boy? It takes like twenty million soldiers with their shooting rifles to get me out of bed in the morning... LOL. Okay maybe a little exaggerated but you get the picture. Haha...

Well... anyways. Sorry it's so brief today. I'm going to bed early in hopes of waking up and actually having some sort of attention span tomorrow morning for class. Sweet dreams world :)

Getting Passed the Past

There's are so many moments in our lives that define us. High school graduation. College. Marriage. Having children. But what about relationships? I often find that my past relationships have molded the person I have become today. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, I haven't quite figured out yet.

You see... relationships have never been my forte. I fall hard and fast & wear my heart on my sleeve often too easily. I have been hurt and fallen hard. And it seems my heart never learns. It's like an addiction, that high. One could call it, "high on love." But because of my hurtful past I have so many issues with other aspects. Friendships. Relationships in general. Trusting someone is completely hard. Why? Shouldn't it be the opposite, where one is rewarded for loving so much? Today I was asked to get over the past and let it go. But I realize that getting passed the past is not as easy said than done. And I'm not quite sure what I can do personally to get over those things. Whatever the struggle, is continuing to love & take a chance to get hurt better than not loving or hurting at all? You answer the question. So in my deep thoughts on building trust I did a little research. Here's what I found:

10 Crucial Steps to Building a Relationship

1. Be predictable. When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up? Why is he doing that? He's never done that before. That is so unlike him. Any movement away from predictable behavior can become suspect and trust can deteriorate. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build trust. Be consistent in what you do. This doesn't mean you must be boring. If there is a twinkle in your eye and a dose of spontaneity every so often, for goodness sakes be spontaneous and fun loving. But be true to who you have always been and be that consistently, whoever you tend to be!

2. Inform your significant other when you become "unpredictable." No one goes through life the same person. We all make shifts and changes. Frankly sometimes we may be fairly clueless about what is happening and where we are going. Those times may be very intense and we do some silly things or make some downright dumb decisions. Life can get very squirrelly and unpredictable. Growth in an individual, marriage or family often is accompanied by a little chaos. Welcome these shifts. Say, "I really don't know what is going on in me right now, but I'm moving in a different direction. Be a little patient with me while I figure this out. I might do some silly things, but my intent is not to harm you or scare you."

3. Make sure your words match the message. Mean what you say and say what you mean. When your partner hears one thing in your words but your tone of voice, body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, you open the relationship to some crazy making days. Which message is she to believe? This can waste a tremendous amount of energy and she learns not to trust part of what you are saying.

4. Believe the other person is competent. I hear this phrase very often: "But, I don't want to hurt him." A couple things are at play here. First, she may not have the skill of confronting the other with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding. She believes truth telling is destructive or entails some sort of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be conveyed in loving ways. Or, she may see the other person as a wimp; someone she believes cannot handle rigorous personal confrontation. She doesn't trust that the other person has the internal strength or stamina or skills to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person picks up on this mistrust and does what he does to avoid the personal confrontation as well. Believe and know in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, has the internal strength and capacity to handle anything. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship.

5. Be very very careful of keeping secrets. If he knows there is an elephant in the room and doesn't talk about it, the elephant takes up tremendous space in the relationship. It takes energy for him to walk around it. She may not see the elephant but knows he is bending his neck to look around something. She will be curious, mildly disturbed, have feelings but no words to wrap around them, might wonder if something is wrong with her or struggle with trusting her intuition. And, when we can't trust the messages that come from within us, we find it very difficult to trust the messages of the other person. Secrets demand tremendous energy and erode trust. The relationship is doomed never to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. She is not so much concerned about him having sex with someone else as she is about the betrayal, lack of trust, the secrets and deception that are crazy making and energy draining. Hopefully, in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship you may want to share some of those events as you disclose to your partner where you were and where you are now. You do so without emotional charge. However, if a secret takes up room, i.e. still has an emotional charge and holds you back from disclosing more and more of yourself in the growing stages of intimacy, you have a problem that needs to be addressed with your partner.

If your interested in the other five crucial steps you can find them here.

On another note. Valentine's day is around the corner. My wish list: to be with the ones I love: ♥ my G - Baby Gabriel :)

Like Always: Drama & Females

Okay. So I can't help but vent... LOL. So there's this girl who writes on Nych's facebook page right? Saying that she is his other baby mama's best friend and that Nych is a worthless father to his sons. And she also calls out my other female Laura calling her a B**** when all Laura was doing was protecting my girl Kell. So yeah... anyhoo. Throughout her entire message her spelling is horrible. Her grammar is incorrect and then she has the nerve to say that we all need to go back to high school and take proper English? LOL. Wow... sorry that just made me laugh. I'm a senior at Grand Valley State University finishing up my bachelors in Spanish and the other girl she was attacking is finishing up her studies in an aspect in the medical field. Come on now.

Next. I'd like to state that Nych is not a worthless father. Thankyou. He has been here with Gabriel through the ups and downs. He may stumble at times, but who doesn't? I think that for a 21 year old male having two small children he is doing a rather good job. This girl should know that one kid is a handful because she has one herself. One of my close friends has the cutest baby girls and her baby daddy has seen her three times for a total of about 8 hours since she was born and she is almost 4 months old. There isn't a day that I'm grateful I don't have to go through with that. Yes I have gone through other things with him, but as for him being a father he is doing a great job. And finally... why are you all up in his business anyway? Your not his baby mama nor an ex girlfriend or anyone of these. So I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be all up in his business.

So, the moral of my story is... please PEOPLE think before you speak. I already stated what Nych said was wrong. But attacking him on his father skills when you don't even know... that's another story.

P.S. Worthless is one word. Not two. :)

The Dreaded Doctor Visit

So we all have that one place that we just dread to be. Whether it be the haunted Halloween house, the top of the Eiffel tower or even the dentist, we all have that one place where we dread to go. Today, I realized just why I absolutely dread going to the doctors. Only it wasn't because of me... it was because of my son.

Gabriel had his two month shots today. And it's one of the saddest things to sit there and watch your child cry their eyes out. He got three different shots and just cried and cried and cried. I have never heard him yell and scream this loud. I felt sooooo bad. Nych was there holding his hand, and I was in the background with the camera in my hand about to cry myself. LOL. But I have to remind myself that it's for his benefit :) and I know this... it's just so sad. They should really come up with a better way to do these things. Don't ya think? LOL.

Now Gabriel is running a fever of 102 :( The doctors told us this was common after receiving the shots. I just hate not seeing his smiley face and happy giggly self. He's acting like a completely different baby! I took him up on the counter && was making him a bottle and I was talking and smiling at him and he looked so helpless and sad like, "Momma, why did you let them do this to me?" After making myself look a fool though I finally got him to crack a little itty bitty smile :) Thank goodness. Hopefully my smiles made him feel a little bit better just like his do to me.

I realize how much I rely on that little smile of his nowadays! I guess I can't become that reliant huh? Well here's a video of him getting his shots. Hold on to your horses... you get to see my baby boy Gabriel really shedding those tears!

New Year New Love ♥

Yes... his name is Gabriel Chance Valentin :) LOL. The love of my life. I cannot believe how fast time has gone! He is already going to be three months on the 18th of this month. He is already trying to roll over and coo and laugh. I just love watching him grow. Here's one of his most recent photos:


He is my little monkey. :) Anyhooters... LOL. Lately things have been kinda bitter-sweet. I have been trying to focus on school, but with my little handsome man I've notice my attention span and drive lagging just a tad. I mean I can't help it... Who would wanna leave those little dimples to go listen to my foreign professor talk about the aging of old people? My point exactly. Haha. I am back to work now... which also sucks. I need the money & it's nice to get a break every once in a while from everything but by the time a couple hours pass I already find myself thinking bout my baby boy.

Last week I applied to the college of education. I procrastinate so much it's ridiculous. And I really don't know how things are going to turn out and if I will be accepted. My G.P.A. for my psychology minor is competely screwed over and I discovered I'm taking a class that I supposedly already took... weird. And I can't drop it because if I drop it I lose my scholarship because you have to have so many credits. Well... I guess my mind was elsewhere when I signed up for classes this semester. Maybe I dunno..... it was on the fact that I was about to have a baby! LOL.

Well I guess that's about all. I'm about to do some homework and then cuddle up with my boys. :) Tomorrow is a busy day. I have my four classes and Gabriel's doctors appointment. He's going to get his shots done :( poor thing... he doesn't know what he's in for. Well I'll talk to you all soooooooon! :) Thanks for stopping by!